I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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