fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
