he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
