but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
