FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
