Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
