please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
