u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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