Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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