That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
