Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
