i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize