so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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