i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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