I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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