My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
