It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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