i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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