Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
