his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
