i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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