don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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