question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
