i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
