I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I puked a lego.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
