he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
