Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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