I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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