he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
