are you still at the devil's house?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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