What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
