The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
