dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
