I have demons in me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Randomize
