i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
