You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize