he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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