WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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