Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
