imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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