Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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