just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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