If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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