Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
