You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
