After last night, I could never be a politician.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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