I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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