i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize