I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
