shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
