I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
