i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
