And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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