the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
