This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
