So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
