i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
