i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
